in·de·ci·sive

Just finish watching The bounty hunter staring Gerald Butler and Jennifer Aniston. In the movie, they dated for 6 months an got married on the 9th months. They got divorce for 9 months and got back together after that. Isn't it lovely? That will always happen in all story but never in real life.

Getting marry is not just by saying I do and sign the paper. Is about 2 persons committing to an agreement of future partnership. It must have the mutual understanding from both individual and with their full hearted will.

Even with the many years of dating doesn't means you have to get marry if you are not willing to do that yet. It will only turn into a bad ending. Trust me, I've been through that and I don't want to make the same mistake again. I don't want to be cornered and give in just to show someone how much I care about the relationship which is nonsense. I want to commit as went I know the time is right. Some people might not understand my theory here. Let me make this simple, do not commit to something if you are not ready for it yet. That doesn't mean you are not taking the relationship serious is just that you need more time to prepare yourself. No one like to be force for doing things they don't like. Your partner want you to commit to them with your truth heart and not just because of responsibility or pleading someone.

I might be a good partner and also a good father. A good husband, I really doubt it. Maybe I am and maybe I'm not but with my past, I really don't know if I can be one yet. I wish to be marry to someone I love very much but I'm not willing to do so by committing out of my own will now just to buy my place In her heart. Isn't that bribery? Even if I do I will have to take the risk of having another bad ending case to the court.

From my last post about the message I send out. I still remember the exact words from the replies. The replies has been running in my head for whole time and evaluating it over and over again. Finally, I got the result from the evaluation. I'm guessing you have a Change of heart, I do not feel good about it. They said girls always have the power of 6th sense, I do have it too. With the accumulate times of you hurting me, I might be right again this time.

I'm not an ordinary guy that woman can accept and I never lied about this to everyone. Many of them knew it and some of them willing to take up the challenge but they always fail miserably half way. This time, not just the person but I fail too.