Smoke and drink, so I don't have to think.

How can a person mend a broken heart? This is the only situation I do not know how to handle it. Is there a book "healing a broken heart for the dummies" in any of the shelf? So far I only know one drugs that able to immune my broken heart which is alcohol, but off course there are those other DRUGS out there. I'm still preventing myself to use any of it yet. I can't feel my heart now, the only think I can feel now is like I'm going to have a heart attack soon. It feel like a blockage in my heart. I always thought is because I smoke alot this few weeks and I wanted to stop smoking. Stop smoking make me heart break even more now. So I continue smoking one after another. I knew one day I will regret it but for now, ciggie is my closest companion and alcohol is my soulmate. I still haven't got drugs as my mistress.