I Colour My Own Life In Dark

I wake up on a Monday morning feeling the blues, cruising to work in my dark horse and hoping it was Friday. After work head to with the lazy attitude and yawning throughout the whole 2 hours workout session. I don't know why I usually feel very sleepy once I step my foot into the gym and yawning none stop but once I done with the workout, I usually feel very energetic and fresh. It should be about 8pm by the time I'm done with the workout and not knowing where to go or what to do, the only place is to cruise home and surf the Astro channel. Isn’t my life a bored and I do really mean BORED. Everyone said my life is colourful and full of fun which I don't know why they have this perception about me. There is only 1 day and 2 nights in a week my life are full with love and happiness.

Most of the time I felt so lonely and cold, sleeping alone makes me feel so vulnerable. This unbearable feeling within me transformed into a vicious beast that rips my heart and soul into pieces. It really makes me feel like ending my story in this miserable world once and for all.

I usually blame myself for all this miserable days that I have to go through. If is not because of all my wrong decision, I would have be living my life wonderfully everyday with the family to go home to. All this sweet moment has vanish like ashes and blow away by the wind. Is all only imagination that I embrace on now, nothing real. What’s real is loneliness and guilt within me.