She ain't heavy, She my lover.

Is very tiring for me to stay through the 8 hours of work with my mask on. When the clock hit 5.30pm, I will rush out of the office not because I want to go home. Is because I can't barely hold on to the mask for another minute.

Is very hard for me to pretend I'm alright especially around my boss when he had shown concern about my current behavior in the office. Further more he is in my Facebook and today he followed my Tweeter. I got no where to shout my pain now except than here. I blog through my phone so that no one in the office could see my blog.

How lucky I still have this blog since my friendster days. I don't think any of my friends remember my blog which is good so that non of them who knew me read about my problem. I do not like to talk about my problem. I might only get some stranger reading this from googling. That's the whole point, I rather tell my problem with someone I don't know. Is like talking to any object where you do not get any respond.

Wound will heal as time pass on. Is true realistically. But I'm felling my wound are getting worst as days goes by. Is not healing a single bit but is spreading. Maybe I got not just a wound, maybe is cancer. Yes, I admit my love are still very strong toward her. But when will this stop or will it ever stop? Getting involve in a new relationship will help to erase your last relationship like how she does it. But I can't even start a new relationship while I'm still carrying her in me. I'm tired carrying her but part of me do not feel like putting it down.

Behind my smile is a hurting heart. Behind my laughs, Im falling apart. Look at me closely and you will see the man I am just isn’t me.