Independent day.

I was at. Y childhood house. They are throwing him a party. What party? Independent party they called it. My friend who goes through a bad breakup and can't handle his life. He has to quit his jobs and worst still the parents are worried about it. The parents is so supporting him and decided to throw him this party with gift. I mean wtf? I'm top in pain and sorrows. Why no one throw me a party? I understand is because my pain no ones knows about it. I do not need anyone to know about my pain and sorrows. Is my pain and is me going to handle in with no others involve, Especially my parents. I only have to deal with myself. Even if I'm going to kill myself, I do not wish others to be sad about me. Everyone will have their own problem is just how the person handle it. I admit i did not handle it well but fuck it. I'm happy to live thought my own sorrows. The important thing here is I do not get other involve in my sorrow. I get fuck by others if my own fault and I have to take it. No matter how much pain I'm going through I do not need to answer to others. I'm just a normal person and normal person will eventually feel the pain. The different is I'm suffering myself. I do not wish to do so but i was not given myself a solution to it. Maybe is the heart in me is too fragile. Fucked it. I'm lying to myself I know but I lied with no regret.